


Trust

by buttons_n_bose



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Canon Era, Fluff, I Love You, M/M, Misunderstanding, first I love you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 19:01:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20158519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttons_n_bose/pseuds/buttons_n_bose
Summary: Mush wants to tell Race he loves him...but something, or someone, gets in the way





	Trust

“Race, can I talk to youse for a sec? No, that’s stupid. Let’s try again.” Mush ran a hand through his hair. He needed to get this right. It had to be perfect. Three words. Eight letters. Infinite ways to screw it up.

“Heyyy...God, no, okay.” He took a deep breath, turned around, kept walking. He’d been pacing around his bunk for nearly ten minutes now. Race was outside, leaning against the wall of the lodgehouse. Mush knew this because he’d already checked through the window three times. He didn’t have much more time before the others got back from their rounds, ready for dinner. He needed to say it now.

“When I’s around youse, m'heart races.” Mush kicked one of the legs of his bed. “That’s the worst one. The. Worst. One. By far. Damnit, Mush, get it together.”

He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. It couldn’t be that hard. Other people say it to each other all the time. And Race had almost said it to him last week, he was pretty sure, so why was he so nervous to say it first?

“Oh, whatever,” said Mush decidedly, walking out of his room, “I’s gonna figure it out in the moment.”

Mush made his way through the different rooms of the lodgehouse. He paused at the back-door. He was going to do it. He was going to say it. With a smile on his face he couldn’t quite shake, and a heartbeat that was way too fast to be healthy, he opened the door.

But Race was too busy to notice, kissing a boy Mush had never seen before.

“What the hell?” Mush yelled, except it came out as more of a squeak.

The two pulled apart, Race’s eyes wide and the unknown boy’s lips pulled in a smirk.

“Mush...” Race adjusted his cap. “It’s not what it looks like.”

“Really?” Mush asked. “‘Cause it looks an awful lot like you's messin’ around with some...some guy. You tryna tell me that’s not what this is?”

“It’s not!” Race insisted.

“Whatever.” Mush turned so the boys wouldn’t see the tears welling up in his eyes. “Don’t let me bother youse.”

“Mush—”

Mush ran into the lodgehouse, slamming the door shut behind him. He heard it open a few seconds later, then close again.

“Mush!” Race called. Mush hurried to his room, wishing there was another door he could slam in the tall boy’s face.

He couldn’t believe he was about to tell Race he loved him. He thought they were getting closer. He thought their private lunches and secret midnight rooftop meetings meant something to Race. Apparently he was wrong.

He collapsed face-down onto his lumpy mattress, wrapping his arms around his head and squeezing his eyes shut to stop the tears.

“Mush.” Race’s voice was soft, and Mush hated it. Mush loved when Race’s voice sounded like that. It was the same voice he used when Mush sprained his ankle two weeks before, and Race had helped him back to the lodgehouse and taken care of him. It was thanks to Race that Mush stayed in bed to heal instead of heading back to the streets to keep selling.

“Mush, please,” Race begged, “look at me.”

“Go away,” Mush mumbled against his sleeve.

“I’m not leavin’ you like this,” said Race.

“You’s gonna hafta.”

“Mush, youse gotta know, I didn’t want that to happen.”

“You didn’t want me to find you an’ pretty-boy behind the lodgehouse?” Mush snapped, finally looking up. He was surprised to see that Race was crying a little, too.

“Yeah, that,” Race agreed, “but I didn’t want to be kissin’ him.”

“Yeah, right.” Mush scoffed.

“I didn’t!” Race reached for Mush’s hand, but Mush pulled it away. Race moved to sit beside Mush, who decided to be strong (which he was already regretting) and   
stay put.

“Just go,” said Mush.

“Not ‘til ya know the truth. I was just standin’ there, mindin’ my own business, an’ then this boy comes over an’ starts talkin’ to me. I thinks, what the hell, so I talk to him back. An’ then before I know it, he was kissin’ me, an’ I didn’t know what to do, an’ then you came out.”

Mush wasn’t sure if he believed Race’s story...but boy, did he want to. Because if it was true...and if Race really didn’t want to kiss that boy...then maybe he did feel the same way.

“Can…” Race’s voice broke a little, but he cleared his throat like it didn’t happen. “Can I hold your hand?”

“Why should I believe youse?” Mush asked, but this time he didn’t pull away as Race’s gentle fingers intertwined with his. Race smiled, tracing circles with his thumb on the back of Mush’s hand, and wiped a tear from Mush’s cheek.

“‘Cause I loves ya.”

Mush looked up at Race with wide eyes. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.” Race laughed. “Ya don’t believe me?”

Mush smiled. “I loves ya, too.”

“You’d better.” He leaned closer and gave Mush a quick kiss. “You’s amazing, y'know that?”

“I been told,” said Mush, recalling a night about a week before when Mush surprised Race with stolen dessert from the bakery and Race had told him he was amazing.

“I’s so sorry about...that guy,” Race said softly.

Mush leaned against Race’s body. “Just hold me,” he said, wiping his remaining tears on Race’s vest. He couldn’t help but smile as Race kissed the top of his head and wrapped his arms around him.

“Hey, guys?” Elmer appeared in the doorway. “As cute as this is, Jack says dinner's ready.”

Race pulled Mush up from the bed and, after a quick kiss, the two walked hand-in-hand to the dining room.


End file.
